whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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