im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
