My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
