So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
