VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
