omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize