it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i love accidental penises.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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