i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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