it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
