I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just googled if crying burns calories
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
