ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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