I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
