I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
