Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
