Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
