The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
