i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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