I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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