You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
