so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
