Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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