But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
