"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
