My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
