new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
