Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
