Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
