For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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