operation harelip BJ is a go
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
