hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
