you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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