wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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