I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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