You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
