haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
