apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
