just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize