how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize