i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
