having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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