Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
