When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
