his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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