You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
