I think I am morally bankrupt
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
