google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
