ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
