You made me cry and you don't even care
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
