i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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