What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
