she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
