true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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