How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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