Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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