I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
