Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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