As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
