I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
