she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
