my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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