They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i now understand why vodka
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
