"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
