I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
